Michael Sam coming out story: “We were so secretive. He was out and I was in the closet”
Michael Sam came out publicly as gay in February 2014 through an interview with The New York Times. At the time, he was a defensive lineman for the Missouri Tigers at the University of Missouri.When he began the interview, Sam said: “I’m Michael Sam. I’m a football player, and I’m gay. Is this a huge deal? I understand it is, but my purpose and focus right now is playing football.”He had already told his teammates about his sexual orientation several months earlier, before entering the 2014 NFL Draft. By coming out publicly, Sam was poised to become the first openly gay player selected by an NFL team.Sam did not want his sexuality to overshadow his biggest ambition: succeeding on the football field and earning an opportunity to play in the NFL.Football had been an important outlet and a powerful source of strength for him throughout his troubled childhood.
Michael Sam’s troubled childhood story
Michael Sam’s parents, JoAnn Sam and Michael Sam Sr., had eight children. Before Sam was born, the family lost his sister, Chanel, under tragic circumstances. Later, they lost his older brother, Russell, who was shot after trespassing on private land.When Sam was five, his father left the family. His mother worked, while his older brother Julian took care of Sam and his siblings for the next three years. But in 1998, Julian disappeared after leaving Sam and his little sister at the school bus stop.“Julian went missing in October, 1998. It was on a Friday when the last time me and little sister saw him. In the mornings, Julian used to always wait by me and little sister for the bus.As the bus came close, he went to the back of the house and waved at us; we waved back, and we never saw him again. It was like he vanished,” Sam said via Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry in February 2026.The tragedies did not stop there. Sam experienced abuse from two older brothers who were involved with gangs and drugs, and had to take on childcare responsibilities.Only two things provided him with an escape: school and football.
Michael Sam’s mother was unsupportive but his father encouraged him to play football
Michael Sam’s mother, JoAnn Sam, was not supportive of his involvement in sports, but his estranged father, Michael Sam Sr., returned and encouraged him to play football.Sam has remembered his father’s support in convincing his mother to let him play as one of the few positive things his father did for him.According to Oprah.com, Sam grew up as a self-described “mama’s boy” in the small town of Hitchcock, Texas.Sports eventually became his outlet. “Becoming a teenager, I needed sports,” Sam told Oprah in December 2014. “I knew I wanted to make something of myself. I knew sports taught me, and my coaches taught me, the discipline that I have today. I needed it.”Sam was so talented that he made the varsity team as a freshman, a rare achievement in football-crazy Texas. At the time, he did not dream of playing college football. He thought he would work in the oil refineries of nearby Texas City after high school.But his talent attracted college football coaches’ attention, and recruitment letters began arriving. Sam wanted to play Division I football, which meant he also needed to perform well academically.After four attempts, and just days before his recruitment deadline, he cleared the required SAT threshold. Scholarship offers followed, and after considering his options, he eventually chose the University of Missouri.
Michael Sam knew in high school that he was attracted to men
It was during high school that Michael Sam realized he was attracted to men.“In the summer of 2009, I had experimentation, and sure enough afterward I knew I was pretty damn gay; that’s when I knew,” Sam said via Worcester State University’s Diversity Lecture Series in September 2017.“So, I became a freshman at the University of Missouri knowing that I am gay, but I still tried to deny it. I said to myself, ‘Well, what do I do? Do I come out? Is this just a phase? What is this?’”Sam tried to bury his feelings during college, but they eventually resurfaced – especially after he met University of Missouri swimmer Vito Cammisano.“He pretty much changed my life forever. We hit it off fast. We started dating secretly. It was like a fairy tale. I was so happy. I’d never been so happy in my life,” Sam said.
Michael Sam was pushed by Vito Cammisano to confront his identity
The college romance eventually became complicated as rumors about Michael Sam and Vito Cammisano’s relationship began circulating. Sam was still in the closet, while Cammisano was already openly gay.“I didn’t take that well because I’m a football player and I’m a big guy and I’m not supposed to be gay and this isn’t supposed to be happening. So, I started distancing myself from Vito, and I was not in a good place,” Sam said.“We were so secretive,” Sam said. “After so many fights, Vito had kind of had enough. He was tired of this lifestyle because he was out and I was in the closet.”After one argument, Vito asked Sam who he saw when he looked in the mirror. The question affected Sam deeply because he did not know the answer.“I was a pretender trying to be someone I’m not,” he said.Sam began exploring the LGBTQ community to better understand himself. He participated in St. Louis Pride, where he found that nobody judged him or treated him differently. Instead, he encountered people who were welcoming and accepting.He later became involved with the LGBTQ community in Columbia, Missouri, and experienced the same sense of warmth and acceptance.Then came the biggest challenge: opening up to his teammates.
Michael Sam came out to his Missouri Tigers teammates before his senior season
During the training camp in August 2013, before his senior season, Michael Sam decided to tell his Missouri teammates that he was gay. He was nervous about how they would react, but their response truly surprised him.His teammates rallied around him and supported him. They were happy that he had finally opened up and treated him like one of their own.That experience changed Sam’s outlook. If his teammates could accept him, he believed other football teams could too.“I came out to my team this last August, and coming out to them, they rallied around me, they supported me,” Sam later said. “And I knew in that moment that this can happen anywhere; if my team can support me, any team can support me.”Missouri finished the 2013 season with a 12-2 record, while Sam established himself as one of the best defensive players in college football. He won SEC Defensive Player of the Year and entered the NFL Draft as one of the most prominent prospects at the time.In February 2014, Sam made his sexuality public. Three months later, the St. Louis Rams selected him with the 249th overall pick in the seventh round of the 2014 NFL Draft, making him the first openly gay player drafted by an NFL team.
Michael Sam’s NFL journey continued with the Dallas Cowboys
Michael Sam did not make the St. Louis Rams’ final 53-man roster. He was subsequently claimed by no team on waivers and joined the Dallas Cowboys’ practice squad in September 2014.The Cowboys waived him from their practice squad in October 2014 to make space for linebacker Troy Davis. He never appeared in a regular-season NFL game.In 2015, Sam participated in the NFL’s first Veteran Combine, where he ran the 40-yard dash in 4.99 seconds. Later that year, he signed a two-year contract with the CFL’s Montreal Alouettes.Sam became the first openly gay player to play in a CFL regular-season game when he appeared for Montreal in August 2015. He ultimately played one regular-season game for the Alouettes.After stepping away from professional football, Sam eventually returned to the sport as a coach. He played for the Barcelona Dragons in the European League of Football in 2022 before moving into coaching.In 2026, Sam joined the Berlin Thunder coaching staff as the team’s linebacker coach, continuing his football journey from historical NFL prospect to coach.
